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Prelude 05

3/20/2012

4 Comments

 
Late into the night packing my every belonging.  Not to move it to some new destination, wherein I lovingly unpack it, cherish its meaning and place it anew – giving it yet another life.  No, packing my things to sit in boxes.  As I gently wrap each item, I recall where it was acquired what it meant then, and ask: does this have meaning today? The answer seems muted by the roaring wave of unknowing.  While I am having moments of feeling like I am racing into the unknown throwing all caution to the wind and taking risk beyond measure, it’s not the truth.  I recall creating an intention for my life two years ago. I realize, I asked for this in full awareness.  I set the intention to walk away from what I perceived as comfort: a settled life on a gorgeous property, family, friends and familiarity abounding around me.  With deep appreciation for every blessing of love I have here, in my unraveling current life, the call to live and adventure more fully in the moment is undeniable.  With that call comes a demand to be in profound integrity with myself – each aspect.  My physical self and its cries for being playful, adventurous, daring, free and graceful.  My mental self and its desire to express more creativity in the form of photography, writing and engaging with others.  My spiritual self and it’s calling to heal –myself and others.  Finally, my emotional self – the least developed, immature aspect of my being.  My emotional self is looking through the open door and knowing that sometimes we will encounter sunshine and sometimes we will encounter storms. With faith in God and myself, there is no reason to meet out my emotion with caution.  Life is a delicious gift and I choose to live knowing that nothing and nobody can put out my fire.  I have hopes that the flames will at times rage; other times, burn with a soft consistent glow; and even sometimes, give reprieve from the fire in cooling embers.  

The legacy I want to leave is this: being an example of living passionately, authentic, and free.    

Whatever created us (I call it God but that matters not), wants us to thrive, not survive.  
 
I am impassioned tonight by the knowledge that a colleague passed away without warning.  He was a distant friend, one that I respected and cared for.  I am angered that his dreams to live fully –finally embarking upon his retirement – were stripped.  The past few times I saw him, he was excited, talking constantly about training for marathons and double-century cycling events.  He invariably arrived at my office with his wife who he was clearly thrilled to start sharing more of his newly claimed time with.  He, like many, had waited until his later years to start doing the things that called to his heart.  
 
With all due respect to all the responsibilities and adult obligations and things we are “supposed” to do and accomplish in life, I think we got confused somewhere along the way. I know I did.  I have made mistakes for the sake of money, status, pride, and ignorance.  And worst of all, I have lost love because of fear of being vulnerable.  
 
The thing I am most grateful for in life is this: we choose.  Today, I choose something different.  I choose to listen to the still voice inside and live to the best of my ability in accord with it.  
 
Don’t waste another day my friends.  Do, think, say, feel, or BE what calls you at the deepest level.  Forgive, forget, and love.  This is not a call for irresponsibility.  I am advocating for accountable authenticity.  It is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and others. If you don’t know what you want, ask yourself and be open.  The answers will come.
  
4 Comments
Ricky McDaniel
3/20/2012 12:08:17 am

Good luck and God speed on this new chapter in your life. As my wife and I are becoming more tied down by our aging and ailing parents you are a living inspiration as to the possibilities that life can offer.
Stay in touch!

Reply
Carin link
3/21/2012 11:58:42 pm

Ricky ~
thank you so much for your well wishes and affirmation of what my intention is.
I wish you some peace and ease (to the extent possible) in the upcoming times with your parents. I know many experiencing the same and recognize the shift in roles as a significant event in one's life. I am blessed with healthy parents.
I am happy to stay in touch and would love to be on a raging river together again soon.
Love,
Carin

Reply
Lela McDonald link
3/20/2012 12:53:22 am

Carin,
I am so excited for you. You decided to live differently, and you shared a bit about what you were moving toward with me. This is the moment of launch, the moment of cleaving often is. Fly!

Reply
Carin link
3/22/2012 12:02:07 am

Lela ~
FLY! Yes! trusting as a child does that something amazing will happen.
I'm glad you are following along and wish you a season of health and peace.
Big hug Lela,
Carin

Reply



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    Carin G. Aichele

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