Just days ago, I was facing down fear and inviting the unknown into my heart. Today, my enthusiasm for life is entirely out of control. On a whim last night with little market research, I posted my lovely home on craig's list - for lease, for a year - and today, I am blessed with three truly viable offers. There are in fact people who would love to live here, who can feel the peace (as I have done for numerous years) in this home and on this amazing property. My choices are multiplying. I have eluded on this website and in conversation with friends about my theory on freedom and how choice is the largest factor in our perspective about our level of freedom. Does freedom even have levels? Are we either trapped or free? Are there varying degrees of freedom? I have always equated freedom with the notion that I choose. Whether that be choosing a home, a job, what I want for dinner, if I will mountain bike or kayak or heck, let's just reach for the sky and do BOTH, or what time I start work on a given day. The dictionary has a lengthy definition of freedom. The one I most identify with is: exception from external control. Sounds kind of spiritual to me and frankly, I take it that way. When we allow external material forces to direct our daily lives, we are missing out on the soul of living, on the spiritual reality of life. We are supposed to be blessed. We are supposed to live vivacious and vibrant lives. No God, no Buddha, no mother earth or father sky or any other idea of creation would create us to be limited. So why do we put ourselves in these boxes and then try to break out? It's a rhetorical question yet one that I would love to open for discussion. Come play with me. What do you think?
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With every adventure, there are generally unknowns. I walk into the unknown with faith. After several months of planning (organizing my life and professional endeavors to enable a year-long test drive on a possible lifestyle), my best laid plans have...fallen through. The journey never ends because life is of itself a journey. The mystery is enjoyed when we trust that we are right where we are supposed to be every step of the way (it sounds like a worn cliché yet it holds an eternal truth). Don't get me wrong, I was angry at first. I wanted to lash out at the people and issues that stood in my way. Fortunately, years of self-exploration and introspection have taught me that perhaps there was a reason for this seeming delay. Writing tonight, I'm not sure what it is and I accept that it will unfold. As written in my mission (Prelude 01) I opt to accept the unacceptable. I'm tempted by fears such as: how will I get the house leased?, what will I do with my cats?, who can I trust to care for my home and "things"?. What I know in life is that what we set our mind to becomes our reality. Thirteen years ago, I walked away from a 5-year history and certain partnership at a large and successful Sacramento architecture firm because I knew I wanted more time to create a balanced life. I had literally 6 months worth of mortgage payments in my savings account and no clients on the horizon. Within 3 months, I had time, more income than I had left, and what felt like freedom. A quote from a book called "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" says:"...vividly imagine all that you desire from this worldly existence in a state of total expectancy..." The dictionary defines expectancy as: the quality or state of expecting; anticipatory belief or desire. So, I imagine myself driving from this gorgeous resort of a property and into the unknown of a long-term travel journey with every detail in order, my finances settled, several writing assignments, and a few mountain bike races on the calendar! Telling you the truth, I also imagine writing an engaging non-fiction travel narrative that makes you think about your impact on other people and our planet, that encourages you to be the fullest expression of yourself, and perhaps offers you courage to leap out into the unknown and soar!
Off we go! Carin and Dolce are cleaning up the loose ends at home in order to depart for a year in the RV. Ponder that idea, a year of travel, and a litany of emotions arise: excitement!, WOW! a once in a lifetime experience, fear of the unknown, fear of leaving everything familiar, how will you afford it? and won't you get lonely? You're going to meet so many amazing people...these and countless other comments/questions have been asked when sharing my intention for this journey. On the heels of a 5-day seminar whose subject was spirituality (non-denominational, personal contemplation), I find the answer to a question that's been ruminating within for months. What is the purpose of this journey? While it has felt like a deep calling for some time, I was unable to recognize the soul of it.
My purposes are: To experience childlike wonder. Children simply trust. They don't know where their parents are taking them and they hold the hand that leads them enthusiastically awaiting whatever comes next. Not knowing the duality of right/wrong or good/bad, children approach life with innocence and acceptance. I was inspired to consider the personal power and freedom I might feel if I accepted the unacceptable. I encourage you to consider the same. When fear grips you and you think you have no choice, take a moment to consider all the "unacceptables" that go along with the fear. You may be surprised to find that you are much stronger than you imagined. Lack of income isn't death, simplifying our lives and choosing not to "keep up" with demands of materiality is not a loss of identity, in the midst of struggling through a difficult time in our lives we may discover what our heart truly desires. To accept every person I meet along the way as "the holy man/woman". For some context about the holy man, read a book called: "The Holy Man" by Susan Trott. The book is an incredible lesson about how our preconceived judgements can deter us from our greatest learnings and relationships. So when I say I intend to accept everyone as the holy man, I choose to quiet any judgements and be open to experiencing others from a place of love and integrity. |
Carin G. AicheleArchives
May 2014
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