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Leadership

2/20/2012

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Two recent experiences reminded me of one universal truth: We are all in this together.  “This” being life: questioning of our purpose, longing to have impact, exchanging love, and fearing death or loss, as we consciously or unconsciously make the dozens if not hundreds of choices we make each day.  Stepping fully into the divine necessity of our being, we are asked to support each other, to be leaders through our behavior and actions.  

The first experience is in the context of being an indoor cycling (spin) instructor.  I’ve been teaching for a year with a perspective that my job as the leader of the class was to take you through a butt-kicking workout and to do it in a way that reaches varying fitness levels and fitness goals.  Check, I’m doing that well.  In my recent self-exploration and expansion, it occurred to me that perhaps being a leader asks more of us and perhaps that more is more sincerity. When I think of spin class, I don’t expect too much of my spiritual or emotional being to engage.  It has seemed to me that it’s all about the physical. This week, I chose to think differently and yep, I’m a broken record.  My changed behavior from changed thinking produced…drum roll please…a different result! 

I regularly close my class with a song that I find inspiring, one that encourages me to be a better woman and then I sit back and hope my students notice.  This week, stepping fully into leadership, I called attention to the song.  We stretched to: “If today was your last day” by Nickelback.  As the song started, I shared a personal story about my awareness that if I only had one day, there’s a few things I would tend to.  I asked everyone to share this journey with me and to acknowledge one thing they needed to tend to –telling someone they love them, forgiving, taking an action toward profound integrity.  This new act of leadership was well-received as evidenced by the substantive and contemplative discussion after class.  
 
If one life was touched by this small act of leadership, then I have purpose and I have succeeded.  Imagine though if everyone in class was positively impacted, then they impacted someone who then was inspired to impact someone…the possibility is infinite. 
 
When we become aware of the magnitude of our impact, we may consciously accept our role as a leader. If you don’t think of yourself as a leader, consider this:  
                        
everyone is leading at least one person (Oneself). 
 
 
The second profound experience was with a current client of my small architecture firm.  I have commenced the process of notifying my clients of my imminent travels and the certain possibility that I simply may not return to the practice of architecture.  This is bittersweet for me as designing public schools is something that I have enjoyed for 23 years.  It feels at times like cutting off my nose to spite my face.  That is another blog though.  
 
The leadership demonstrated was again in the context of being sincere, honest with people who (due to my honesty) will likely find another equally qualified architect and who may not call me in 18 months when they have a unique or exciting challenge to deliver facilities to students.  I’ve been “coached” by several associates to not tell my clients, to forward my business phone to my cell and to act as if I’m “riding out the economic downturn”. The reality is: that’s not the truth. 
 
The truth I delivered to this client was everything you read on this website and in this blog. I am following a divine calling, my inner voice, and am leaping into the unknown with intention to heal, to inspire and to empower others. I re-read that and question myself: “What the %*^@!# does that look like?” I don’t exactly know and I leap nonetheless.  
  
My expression of leadership through honesty and sincere sharing with this client opened a discussion on subjects we’ve never before approached. We shared about ourselves, our life experiences, our spiritual beliefs and our dreams for the future.  I was impacted.  I was touched.  I saw the divine in him.  Without confirming this with him, I feel confident in saying that we both had a degree of “being in this together”.
  
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Discipline: Regulation or Freedom?

2/7/2012

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I was recently asked the question: "Where are you lacking discipline in your life?" My initial response was "nowhere" as I believe myself to be a tremendously disciplined individual - perhaps to a fault. Then, I asked a friend to be honest with me...where am I lacking discipline? Where do you hear me say x and do y? Well, my friend had her own life concerns and didn’t come up with anything. In my resistance to any “big” issue, a simple thing came to my thought: You have been saying you need to get back to yoga for 3 months and consistently choosing not to do yoga.  This is a perfect example of lacking discipline: being out of a habit and accepting not engaging because it seems harder than continuing to do whatever it is we are doing now.  The simple awareness impelled me to get up and go to yoga that very night.  This little experience has brought immense enthusiasm, connection, and excitement to my already cool life! 

Here’s my example of how making one minor choice changes us in major  ways and opens us to infinite possibility. I went to the yoga class. It was a Wednesday evening hot yoga class.  It rocked my world, I loved it!  I felt challenged, stretched, and contemplative (as this particular yoga studio encourages consideration of our impact on the planet -
www.eastwindyoga.com).  It was so great; I went back on Friday morning.  During the Friday morning class and the events that followed, I have been reminded of who I am, what is truly important and how to step beyond the fear that halts us and reach for my highest desire.  

Back to Friday yoga. The yoga instructor walked in the room and I’m going to honestly say that I had immediate judgments.  You know how that goes.  A person walks in looking a certain way, speaking a certain way or behaving a certain way and we have a preconceived judgment about that based upon some past experience or story that works for us. Here was my experience of this instructor: completely commanding the room, no fear – no none, this person cannot even fathom fear, she is a free  spirit, lives on her own terms, has it ALL together and frankly is so sexy  because of that.  Plus, she has a rockin’yoga body and the attitude to go with it. See where I’m going with this…I thought she was “all that and the bag of chips”.  And, she absolutely is…but my reasons were based entirely on preconceived judgment.  She offered us a yoga experience that resonated deeply with me.  We chanted, she drummed, we held poses and breathed into our resistance to the person we were holding the most frustration with, we pushed our physical beings, we pushed our minds to open to the unknown.  She asked us to be with our feelings without judgment. We laughed and played, I danced to Madonna in happy baby pose (if you don’t know what this pose is, look it up – then try it, see what happens).  

As a result of my experience, I took the time a few days later to check out her website and to read her blog -
www.wendywerks.net.  What happened next is the part that we never get to if we don’t risk, follow the inner voice and take a chance.  I liked what I read.  As I am on a journey with intention to impact people, her work seemed to me to have a similar message but viewed through a different lens.  I felt impelled to write her an email and let her know that I supported what she was offering to the world and asked her to check out my website (www.sublimetravel.net) as I felt we had a common goal and could support one another. Now, this is all new to me as before I took the leap to see everyone as divine, writing this person would not have entered my thought as an option.  I might have heard myself think that she was cool and had a great gift to offer but I sure would not have thought that me letting her know that sincerely would be an option much less an impactful option.   I wrote a heartfelt email and then seriously considered not sending it – not wanting to be viewed as some pathetic  friendless person who sends anonymous emails to people.  I got past any fear and sent it, letting go of a need for a particular result and knowing that I was being asked to give. Sure enough, she wrote back that morning and shared that she needed to hear the supportive and kind appreciation that I expressed to her in that immediate moment.  That my email possibly helped her move through the next responsibility, fear, endeavor, task in her life - I knew then that the email I wrote was not a choice but a spiritual necessity.  Do you ever have that impulsion or hear that little voice and ignore it?  That voice is your direct line to your passion, to your mission, to the full expression of who you are.  And, your response to that voice is needed by humanity, by the higher  power (whatever that is to you) and by all the karmic energy in the universe (it’s a multiverse now btw).    

One email led to another and next thing I knew, she was asking me (the travel/adventure photographer) if I wanted to shoot her upcoming yoga and live drumming/music event: https://www.facebook.com/events/316537841712316/
. Fearing failure as I sometimes do, I let her know that I had no experience in that kind of thing but wait, this was an opportunity.  I contacted a friend who does have experience and asked if we could team up – she being the lead and teaching me some of these photography skills.  My friend (who was in a moment in life where she could use a mental/physical pick me up) was all in, attended yoga with me tonight and is now hooked - three people now positively impacted by one small act of discipline. Check out her work at www.nataliestewart.com. We are shooting this incredible live yoga and music event, I am challenged to learn new things, a friendship is being enhanced by sharing this  experience together, and new friendships are being established on common ground. 
 
If all this isn’t enough, another dear friend of mine had asked if I would be willing to take the photographs of her upcoming wedding. Knowing that weddings are precious moments in one’s lives, and not wanting the pressure of performance, I declined but said that this other friend might be a good fit.  Since we are already doing the yoga event, it seemed natural that we team up and do the photography for this wedding.  A brief phone call and the matter is settled, everything falling into place perfectly and providing the right experience, affirmation, service, LOVE to each party in exactly the right way.  

All of this connection because I listened and acted when I heard the voice that said: "go to yoga", “send that girl an email”. 
True discipline is listening and acting when what is being asked of us might be a stretch; true discipline is knowing oneself and staying true to that self regardless of external pressure or fear.  True discipline brings real freedom.     

I ask you: where are you lacking discipline in your life? 
What small change could you make that may have big impact?
I encourage you to answer the question honestly, to take authentic action, and to risk!  

  
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    Carin G. Aichele

    Carin Aichele

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