Blog Posts

A journey within

1/14/2013

Hi friends, family and followers…my update leaves heaps to be desired in the way of travel unless traveling into myself is a considerable endeavor in your opinion. I am parked in San Diego at Mission Bay. It could only be better if
San Diego wasn’t experiencing what everyone continually says is “the coldest
it’s been here in my recollection”. So much for my aspirations to be a surf bum. I went into the surf one day. It was big, I was squirrely, and after 45 minutes, I was so cold I required the assistance of a friend to remove my wetsuit. That’s happened once before, whitewater kayaking on the American River in December. I prefer Costa Rica! Dolce would not even go into the ocean today.

Nonetheless, in two weeks, I have experienced some great stuff! I have reconnected new and timeless friendships that will last a lifetime. In pursuit of material for my book on healing as well as my long-term consideration of SD as my future home (with a condo in Sedona?), I have attended numerous integrative healing events. The highlights include a Native American drum circle, a Reiki energy share (I am embarking upon Reiki Master status with level 1 accomplished), a crystal bowl mediation wherein I rested upon the floor and experienced both the beauty of the sound as well as the vibration, and perhaps my favorite experience: dance church! I attended what is often referred to as “ecstatic dance”. It was 2 hours of moving meditation in a safe, non-alcohol/drug environment. I’m hooked! The upcoming weeks before departing for New Mexico are full of similarly exciting things. This week I have interviews with several healers for contribution to my book, a couple of photo shoots (La Jolla pier and a bird of prey exhibit), and a visit with two children that I adore. Next week, I embark upon my course to legitimize this inspirational blogging and will soon be a certified life coach. My transition from my previous experience as a successful architect has been impactful. I know I will not re-enter my world as CA Associates. I am clear that God, my inner voice and the world is asking me to contribute on a more intimate level. Here I am…Thank you for supporting me, loving me and being a part of my life.

Namasté

Namasté:
I honor the place in you in which spirit dwells
I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and peace.
When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.

A collection of my favorite photos from the past weeks:

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It's Fun to Watch Joy!

1/2/2013

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I am inspired today by a couple who, while walking on Pismo Beach, stopped at length to share in Dolce’s bliss as she romped in the ocean. Randomly
sharing with me, the woman exclaimed: “It’s fun to watch joy!” I am blessed to be in the near constant companionship of Dolce, my golden retriever dog, who teaches me some of life’s greatest lessons.

A morning session at Pismo Beach with Dolce looks something like this: While still at the RV, I prompt her asking: “do you want to go to the beach?” I begin putting on my running shoes and she immediately gets excited. She doesn’t wonder if I really mean it or question if I love her enough to take her or project into the future asking herself if it will really be fun. She just goes
with the moment and begins wagging and excitedly pressing me to hurry up! First lesson right here for us over-thinking humans: when there’s an opportunity for fun, just go with it! The more excited and enthusiastic energy we exude, the more likely it is that it will be incredible!

We next suit her up in her halter and leash and instead of viewing this as restricting; she grabs her leash in her mouth and begins to prance around. This prancing is contagious. The silly fun it generates is not exclusive to dogs. During the Christmas holiday, I was with my cousins children: four girls
between the ages of 4 and 12. We had taken the pups to the dog park and the girls were laughing and commenting on how Dolce was prancing on our walk back. We all began emulating her prance; wagging our tails and smiling. The result was vibrant laughter. Lesson #2: movement naturally opens our physical pathway to increased joy. If you are feeling sad, bored, lethargic, or any other dimmed state - try prancing. Dance around your house. Walk down the street with a little extra swing in your step. Your energy will naturally shift. Since moving into an RV, I have spent many evenings alone and without friends and family nearby who I can visit when I feel a bit lonely. I have learned to put on some music and dance! I am by no stretch of my own or anyone’s imagination a good dancer - forget choreography. It’s all I can do to count the beats when I am sitting on a stationary bike teaching a spin class! Nonetheless, I dance and my body, mind and spirit take me to places where I feel bliss.

Finally reaching the ocean and out of the Park Ranger ticket zone, I let Dolce off leash to chase her beloved tennis ball into the pounding waves. She crashes into them with abandon, waits when they seem too big, body surfs letting them carry her back with ease and returns the ball to me to do it again…over and over and over. Such simple lessons in watching this dog.
Go for what you want! Sitting on the sideline waiting for life to give it to you won’t make it happen. Pause when things seem too much. A life truth is that change is constantly occurring. We sometimes spend so much time and emotion worrying about what may happen when perhaps simply pausing and letting the storm pass will help us see the sunlight on the horizon. When we go with the flow of life, everything is easier. As a whitewater kayaker, I have learned (sometimes by being spanked upside down with my face planted on a rock) that when I go with the flow and let go of just a bit of the illusion that I am in control, life is easy! Finally, if it works for you, if it makes your heart sing, keep doing it…over and over!!!

I wish you an abundant 2013, filled with blessings and boundless joy!

Namasté

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Guided by Curiousity and Wonder

12/5/2012

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When I embarked 7 months ago I described my plan as a travel journey. I inherently knew it was spiritually initiated and that the activity and outcome was healing.  The travel has just begun as I am finally outside of CA and the familiar embrace of family, friends, place, and experience. I am tempted to judge the events that changed my plan. Pausing though, I am grateful for the slow pace at which things have unraveled and know that had it gone as I attempted to plan it, I would be different than I am now.  Better or worse off? Not a question meriting attention. What is worth considering is the utter harmony and ease that can be our actuality when we engage in our life with curiosity and wonder instead of controlling and judgment. That is my current experience; that is healing.

Transforming the way we interpret ourselves and our participation with the world from judgment to curiousity is a paradigm shift that affords heightened joy, connection, relatedness, and peace.  It assuages our tending to us vs. them and right vs. wrong.  It is fundamental to unity.  Unity is a broad reaching state that includes infinite more personal states we desire. Do you want to get along better with a co-worker? Become curious. Ask them a question about who they are or what they like.  Do you want more free time to feel more united with yourself? Become curious about how you currently spend your time. Most of us can find at least one thing we do that doesn’t genuinely nurture us but that we believe makes us more important or connected. An example for me would be attending a social gathering when what my soul is truly longing for is quiet. I don’t want to “miss out” – I sometimes have this silly condition I call “FMS” (Fear of Missing Something). If I am curious, I will notice how I feel when I don’t heed my own inner voice and perhaps find the motivation to choose more wisely for myself next opportunity.  If I judge the situation, the appearance that others seem to be fulfilled doing this activity and question why aren’t I or even judge myself for not being authentic, there’s little room and empowerment for awareness and choice - I’m just irritated at that point and incapable of imagining something different.

Curiosity and wonder are streams that help guide us down the river of our life. Like rivers, each of us is pouring into the infinite sea of life. Are you
polluting or purifying? It matters not your current answer. Your next
action, however, is the one that defines the state of your experience. Become curious, wonder a little before you come to a conclusion, choose wisely!

"When we look with an open heart, we see the unexpected." ~ Carin G. Aichele

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Arizona 11/28/12

11/29/2012

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Highlights of the past few days:

The 2 motorcyclists I talked with at the gas station – waving like crazy when later passing me

Arriving on desert BLM land in AZ and having endless views

Hours of sunset and moon photography

Nature at work: Having time to watch ants dismantle a piece of Dolce’s food and carry pieces 5x their body mass. I tried to follow one ant to its destination and it ended up snared in a web by a small spider.

Having and taking time to meditate

Feeling connected to the earth and God at a depth that affirms my belief in the possibility of world peace and freedom for all beings

Awaking to the sunrise reflecting off the RV

Dolce safely returning after chasing a coyote at dusk and the man camping ¼ mile away roaring up in his jeep with his gun prepared to help me. The impetus for her return: me shouting that I had her ball. This experience is causing me to pause and consider the risk vs. reward of freedom.
I won’t jump to immediate conclusions.

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Friendship

11/24/2012

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I sit today at Big Bear Lake, CA.  Being here was not on my travel agenda and that doesn’t surprise me. What impacts me most about being here, and the places I have been over the past few weeks, is the impact and value of friendship. Friendship stands apart from family, partners and lovers by a lessening of the demand to live certain ways and by an element of distance that inherently supports individuality.  In friendship, we choose to be close. We are impelled to regard the other without possessiveness or ownership.  Friendship asks that we give and receive, that we open our heart and by so doing, we discover ourselves.

As a person who holds individuality and independence in exceptionally high regard, my current awareness of how my very identity is impressed by relationship with others causes me to pause. I am realizing that identity is not something that can be created in isolation as its nature suggests relationship to something - otherwise, how do we define it?  It has only been recently that I have discovered that I am most myself when I am interacting with others. I cherish the opportunity to share and express emotions, to check beliefs and opinions against those of my friends, to know and be known, to give and receive – to love. I believe these to be common desires of all people.

When I moved into my RV, I loaned many of my things to friends.  I find a treasured satisfaction in knowing that those articles that I appreciated, utilized functionally, and that helped form my identity are creating community in the sense of community ownership.  Taking this idea further, I like to tell everyone that I now look at every beach, every mountain and every gorgeous landscape as my home.  Appreciating material things in this sense has helped foster a greater sense of community responsibility and connectedness within me. It has become easier for me to befriend another dog owner at the beach or a hiker along my path.  It has nourished my desire to see the divine in everyone and to be willing to ask a stranger: Who are you? Will you tell me something about yourself? It has assisted me to develop friendships with people who I never imagined I would want to share myself with. Sometimes those friendships are momentary and sometimes they are life-long. Either way, they mould and form me. Each friendship is a world, a playground in which I live and engage and from which I take experiences, memories and learning.

Friend:  A person attached to another with affection and personal regard.  A person who is on good terms with another. A person who is not hostile. A person who gives assistance, a supporter.

Can you imagine a world where we made friendship a priority? Where we treated everyone with the respect and kindness with which we encircle those we have defined as friends? Can you imagine the value of friendship to the soul of human life? Can you imagine that your simple friendly engagement with someone relatively unknown to you may have lasting impression and help us to be a world of related people instead of enemies? If you can imagine, the next step is action.

In this time of Thanksgiving, I am grateful to those that I currently share friendship with. I love and thank you for the blessing you bring to my life. And to those I have yet to meet, I look forward to being friends.

Namastè

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Being the Change

11/9/2012

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"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves."
~ Mahatma Gandhi

So often in life we think that if someone else changes, our circumstances change or if God would just change us, we would be happy. The happiness that endures comes from within, from being our authentic self. Sometimes even the smallest change creates enormous joy. Culturally, change is viewed as one of the most difficult things to manage. Fear of change often causes stress and immobilization. As Gandhi says, however, our greatness lies in our ability to change.

One of the ideas that I start with to impel myself to change is: Accepting the unacceptable.

The power in this acceptance is that often we are not in control of the thing we want changed (our partner, our boss' behavior, the presidency, our neighbor playing loud music every night...). We find their behavior unacceptable. We can and often do try everything to get them to change. We try to convince them of our perspective, we withhold our love, we get angry, we manipulate, we call the police, we tell our friends and get validation of our
opinion, we do a lot of things under the guise of control when in reality, the only thing we are in control of is ourselves: our beliefs, our reactions, our attitude, our behaviors and (I'm a broken record) our choices!

I will share a personal example of accepting the unacceptable:

While still managing my architecture firm, I had a client file a lawsuit against me and my firm. I believed strongly that the liability did not lie upon my firm nor my consultants. For two years, I worked with my defense attorney and was adamant that we were innocent and that the case had no merit. I personalized the case and experienced a high level of emotional stress, anger, disdain and finally a sense of apathy for my career in designing public schools. This brought me deep sadness as for the previous 20 years I felt I was contributing in a substantive way to the world. I tried all of the tactics I previously mentioned. One day, I realized that the emotional cost to me to defend myself was too great. Trying to control and change others was not getting me anywhere. I decided I had to accept what felt unacceptable: that the client's position was not going to change, and that the chasm could not be bridged through the legal process.

I requested that my attorney schedule a mediation conference and that we settle the case as quickly as possible. I changed my reaction from defense to acceptance. My belief in my integrity did not change, I did not acquiesce to any fault or liability, I did not diminish my faith in truth and justice. The case was settled in one day. No damages were paid, no admission of fault was required, and reciprocal agreements were made to not defame each other's character or business. I attained the intention behind the external changes I had been trying to control: my intention was to feel peace, security, and trust in my own integrity.

Is there a place in your life where you feel "stuck"? Consider what you view as unacceptable, open yourself to options you have not considered, make a new choice...

                    Be the change you want to see

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Community, Commonality, Individuality and Love

11/6/2012

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“We hear so much today about how much people can do if they band together as a community – they can solve neighborhood violence, get rid of unwanted elements, work together for their own improvement, take matters into their own hands when the system ignores the real needs of people, become   recognized as a force that cannot be ignored. And if community is not such a force it at least gathers together people who can find commonality and understand each other when the larger world does not understand them: support groups of every sort. Here we have a key insight, namely that community, as usually understood, defines itself by being against other aspects of the world and gains power by gathering together numbers of conforming individuals. No matter how inclusive such a group may be, it defines itself in relation to what does not belong. The world sense of relationships that I want to explore concerns neither banding together nor needing anything to oppose in order to have definition and act in the world.”
     ~ Robert Sardello in his book: Love and the Soul: Creating a Future for Earth

In light of the election and my personal study on soul and how I want to engage with you, and the world, I read this to friends and family at dinner last night. We all paused, “chewed”on it. The first time I read it, particularly the final sentence, I shook my head, “yes”; I unabatedly agree.

The question we wrestled with last night was: what do we do instead?

On this day as we vote, we are uniting as individual citizens of a country and citizens of the world. I want to recognize that we are coming together as a community.  The very fact that every US citizen has a right to vote makes each of us a unique part of a whole and gives us definition in a positive way. We can pause and appreciate this even as we cast opposing votes.

What do we do instead?

    ~ We remember that everyone is a necessary part of the whole.
    ~ We trust that there exists more similarity in each of us than polarity.
    ~ We seek to define ourselves positively without negatively defining another.
    ~ We love.
    ~ Ultimately, we love ourselves and that frees us to love others.

Namastè

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Choice: a worthy commodity

11/5/2012

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I contemplate and write about choice largely because I believe choice is a commodity that when we feel we have it, provides us with a deep sense of personal freedom. This sense of freedom is not detached from others or nurtured in isolation.  On the contrary, it is a key element of connection.  When we accept that our choices impact ourselves, those intimately surrounding us as well as the overall soul of the world, we are in a position to contribute to peace in a broad-reaching way. It starts with me, and it starts with you!

One of my long-standing life challenges has been wanting more vibrant connection with others. It was not until I became aware of fears that were limiting me, of how my rationalized behavior in response to the fear impacted my choices, and became wholly
accountable for choosing new actions, that the connections I was wanting began to flow naturally.

Without uprooting a plethora of my personal baggage, let’s just say that I became aware that I have a fear of not being enough. I am afraid of rejection. I was holding a view of the world and others that said we are separate. From those fears and messages, I rationalized behaviors that landed me the exact opposite result of what I kept saying I wanted.  I became an over-achiever, ferociously independent, I never asked for help, I maintained my fitness in such a way that my body was strong, I was a
self-described loner and perhaps most impactful, I abused my God-given gift of discernment turning it into judgment oft lathered in a bit of self-righteousness. Wow, writing that today, I would not want to be friends with that me…just saying. For more years than I care to state, I lived with the belief that this was “just who I was”. While many of these behaviors are positive, I am reminded of an idea that I learned at Wings Seminars (www.wings-seminars.com)

A weakness is just a strength overused!

With awareness comes a call to action – here’s where CHOICE is critical.  By paying attention to how I was feeling in a given circumstance and being aware that I had choice in how I respond to my feelings, I discovered a freedom and personal empowerment that assists me to make a new choice. I now attain the connection I desire as well as contribute love back to the world.

Sharing this message today comes as a result of a specific interaction with someone yesterday. I was on an organized bike ride with several girlfriends that included stops at participating wineries in Lodi. While at Harmony Winery (http://harmonywynelands.com/), we met a man who was kind and engaging as he described their wines and talked with the group. He had a tattoo on his finger that caught my attention. I immediately felt the desire to get to know him, to connect and learn more about him. Those are the same feelings that historically would cause rise to fear of being “rejected”. Gratefully, my sweet experiences now far outweigh the old experiences and it is easy for me to don a kind smile and with enthusiasm ask someone to share something of themselves with me. I did. We had a lively discussion about his tattoo, his spiritual values, his hope for the world. It turns out he is a healer. I am writing a book about healing. We exchanged contact information, I promised to call him to set up an interview.  He texted me last night. He was full of grace, kindness, enthusiasm, and appreciation for the energy we shared.  Without asking him, I believe his life was touched as I know mine was.

I encourage you today to pause before the choices you have and find the courage to choose for your own highest good and ultimately the good of the world. Trust
that you are impactful and accept that your actions do matter!

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Love Needs to Flow!

10/17/2012

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Love must circulate in order to get out of its dreamy state. When it does not circulate, it becomes sought after in desperation, as if it were rare and difficult to find. Love is rare only when it hides, and it hides when it is taken up for our own use and not returned.       ~ Robert Sardello in his book: Love and the Soul; Creating a Future for the Earth

I set out on a travel and personal journey.  I didn’t get far mileage-wise, and I have traveled yet deeper into myself. I started this website and blog with a creative intention. My expectation was that I would be inspired to write due to my traveling into the unknown. I would be inspired to share my story and the stories I would collect meeting and sharing brief moments of love with others. I intended to share the blessings that I have been gifted in hope of empowering others to live fully and freely.

When I touched down in San Diego and discovered a place that attracted my heart, that
offered love of family and friends - both old and new- as well as attachment to familiar activities and experiences, I judged myself.  I told myself that I was not following through with my plan and therefore what could I write about that was worthy, that would have the impact that I had consciously intended. I stopped broadly circulating my love. I hid my light from the “world” out there. I relished in the good I was receiving in isolation from the broad world (albeit in relation to a small circle of people). As a result, I admit with regret that there have been moments of seeking love in desperation and believing that love is rare and difficult to find.  It never ceases to amaze me how one moment of awareness has extraordinary power to change us. Reading the opening statement above today, I am literally re-ignited. I am acutely aware that my choices create my reality. When I dim myself, I am the one who pays the price. The price for me is enormous. I give up my deep longing for free engagement with the world; I give up my choice for exchanging love, peace and ease with myself and the world. I give up on being impactful and inspiring. I forget that I am connected to everyone and everything in the world.

What price do you pay when you withhold love from yourself or others?
What price do you pay when you dim yourself and forget to see how magnificent you are?

Religious or not, this verse from the bible speaks volumes:

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see
your good works...           ~ Matthew 5:14-15

I see the light in you and I urge you to let it shine.  Never underestimate the impact of your being, of a smile you lovingly offer, of an encouraging word to a friend, or love you give freely to a complete stranger. Remember that love must circulate and trust that when you pour it freely forth it will return to you enlarged.

Namaste’ my friends

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Your vote counts!

9/21/2012

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I'm doing it...entering the public discussion of our upcoming election. Not with intention to sway your vote or to promote a particular party or economic strategy nor social policy. I'm entering the discussion to suggest a new way of evaluating our options.

I’ve always questioned the two party system in America. I’ve promoted a system wherein we have three presidents with three equal votes.  No more stalemates, no more fighting on party lines.  No more either/or. Choice is freedom. The more choices we have, the more we believe our destiny is in our hands.  Since it’s not probable that we will shift from our current bipartisan system, I want to encourage voting based upon an essential value system that is not attached to being a Republican or a Democrat, Blue or Red.

In a recent conversation I discovered that I have a filter through which I pass all political dialog. My filter is this: Is the foundation of what’s being presented love or fear? The world I want to live in is founded upon love and unlimited potential.  Stick with me those of you who are reading and thinking this is going down the touchy feely, spiritual and impossible Pollyanna realm.  Love as I define it in this context is: concern for the well-being of myself and others (from the dictionary) and from it’s Latin origin: to be pleasing. Fear as I define it in this context is: a distressing emotion aroused by threat (real or imagined) and from it’s Latin origin: disaster. Defined as such I trust it’s easy for you to follow my logic: is this candidate promoting their agenda with a basis of well-being for all and is it pleasing? Or is this candidate promoting their agenda on a basis of an impending threat or disaster? Am I being encouraged by this proposed policy to empower myself and others to a more full expression of freedom or am I being encouraged to protect myself from others and view my freedom in competition with others?

The upside to my filter is that I make my political choices based upon the world I want to live in.  For me, that’s empowering - both myself and others.

I believe that the best way to make our vote count is to place it based upon our highest belief.  Today, I ask you to set aside parties and forget liberal vs. conservative and simply listen to the message being presented.  Check the message against your core values.  Does it feel “right” to you? Do you feel empowered by the ideas being presented? Does the policy support freedom, justice and liberty for all? Politics is a system that suggests the only option is us against them, fundamentally fear-based. This notion appeals to the fight or flight instinct in humans and that’s why it seems impossible to change. Change is possible. It starts with me, it starts with you. Make your vote count!

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