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28 Days of What's Best ~ Day #4

4/21/2014

A Durango house that screamed for attention

Awoke early (5:30AM) with a sensation of peace. The previous evening having been…well, so utterly fulfilling alongside base simplicity. I didn’t “do” anything. I recall a recent conversation with my partner and her long-time friend. Her friend is retired (in the classic sense related to working at a job every day). For many years she has generously given her energies to philanthropic projects large and small; serving on boards, planning and managing fund raising events, collaborating in countless meetings or conference calls and every detail in between. She is considering downsizing her philanthropy activities and contemplates (writer’s observation) what I consider to be a common worry: what will one do with oneself if one is not doing something that obligates oneself? She came to our place after a great day of skiing the Vail back bowls and jokingly announced that she is going to have a card printed saying:

Carin Aichele (I used my name to protect her privacy)
Nobody Doing Nothing

We all shared a hearty laugh, pontificating about the responses one might get after handing the card to the “typical” Vail local on a chairlift after 4 nirvana-inducing powder runs. Initial and superficial kidding aside, I said: “I think it should say: Somebody Doing Nothing”. I presented my self-serving theory that our understanding of ourselves as “nobody” just when we reach the prized pinnacle moment that we are allegedly striving for from average age 7-67 causes a dire conflict within us as individuals and certainly as a body of humans. Our collective belief that only when we are doing something productive* are we somebody is, in my humble opinion, killing us. *(commonly assumed definition of productive is that the activity brings us more of something…most often money/success, friends, strokes to our ego, anything material, a bigger house, more stars on our vacations, more “stuff” that we present as who we are)

If not literally taking us off the planet, it is certainly killing our connection to everything simple, organic, raw, natural and wild. It’s deepening the chasm between our soul’s longing to be and what we choose to do. Our pursuit of more doing has caused early-onset (age 7) dementia of our soul’s desires. As children if our soul’s desire was to be artistic, it was expressed with crayons and sidewalk chalk. Then one day, that’s not age appropriate anymore and we trade our box of crayons for a high-priced ticket to a gallery opening. We are fed fine French champagne and silky Swiss cheese while we observe art from an objective distance. I say to hell with that! Let’s open the studio of our soul and create! Let’s dance with abandon. Grab a brush and a canvas and paint! Pick up a camera and shoot. Play silly games with our children. Take naps. Be still…and know thyself. Let’s redefine our relationship with doing and thus our relationship with our self and satisfaction of or soul.

I propose that I am most somebody when I am doing the least. I am most present to the immediate moment, sometimes brought to my proverbial knees by a landscape that stunningly unfolds as I round a mountain corner; or by a field of wildflowers being prolifically what they are: unassuming and wild; or by Dolce as she relentlessly teaches me the joy in being curious by expressing excitement over every new smell, each slight sound, the feel of snow under her paws, a stick that she carries, or a rock that she chases. She does these same activities with delight…over and over and over. I’m curious; is it the activity creating the delight? Or the delight she brings to the activity that causes the unabashed joy? If the former, then we are governed by forces outside of ourselves and not our choice, not in our control. If the latter, then we are governed by and in control of our choices…my definition of freedom. Try this experiment: bring delight to something you do today. Go into it with intention to experience pleasure. If it’s a chore, do it impeccably and joyously. Consciously choose to feel delight while you do that thing you “have” to do. Then re-frame it and remind yourself that you chose to do it and you chose to do it with joy. You are the director of your experience; conduct your life soulfully!

Day #4: What’s Best? ~ writing all morning. A strenuous MTB ride on unfamiliar trails with spectacular views. Happening upon the just opened whitewater park on the Animas river near downtown Durango (and knowing what I will do for What’s Best? tomorrow…surf that wave!). A very hot 109° soak at the hot springs. Being inspired by a conversation with Elena, a fellow traveler from Switzerland.

What’s Best? Appreciating what is because today was not anything I wouldn’t do on a normal day at home…pause, be grateful for today!

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28 Days of "What's Best?" ~ Day #3

4/20/2014

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I can't get enough of this peak

After a run with Dolce in the forest, we set off on the road again. Oh how I love the road…We traveled 112 which felt like a country lane and has three listed names: 1) 112, 2) E Co Rd 12 N, & 3) Twelvemile Road…go figure. Then we once again navigated snow-capped passes on CO 160 which took us to Durango. It was a sketchy drive at times: slushy snow-rain is not optimum RV travel conditions. Don't tell my mom.

I had to pull over for this...

What’s Best is that Durango was not on our planned itinerary. Just beginning to relax into the state of having nowhere I need to be and nothing I need to do, I opted to cut the day of driving short and stop in a place that I craned my neck to get a look at as I raced by about this time last year. Last year however, I was madly searching for a forest with no beings of the human race. I had just completed a 4 week high speed tour around New Mexico with a friend from Australia and all I wanted was silence. I told myself then that it merited a visit and so Day #3: what’s best: I can stop if I want to.

Day #3: What’s Best? ~ a quiet RV park 5 miles north of town, a river running through town (I hear there’s a newly remodeled whitewater play park…I brought my kayak just in case), a hot springs located immediately adjacent to the RV park, and a pound of chicken and sausages cooking on the BBQ in preparation for all the outdoor activities I am going to enjoy while in Durango, CO.

Day #3: What’s Best? ~ Many people ask me if I get lonely when I am off in the RV on my own. Of course I have a full-time companion with Dolce. What I tell them though, is that the briefest moments of love shared with a complete stranger have a grand impact that carries me through the times when I miss the sanctity of known relationships. This morning, I was leaving the Oasis RV park just outside of Great Sand Dunes, NP and on an instinctive impulse; I stopped the RV in the driveway and ran inside the office/convenience store to offer my gratitude to Jessica who had welcomed me two days prior. It was the first time I had left Boulder in the RV for any length of time since May of last year. I was unsure if I had forgotten how to do this “alone” thing. It had been a long drive from Boulder with no stops. You can imagine that Dolce was anxious to get out of the RV when we pulled in. She too gets very excited and is curious about where we are and what we will experience next. I took her out of the RV with me and upon seeing a big sign on the store’s entry door saying “no dogs allowed”; I tied her to a post. I opened the door and Jessica exclaimed in her thick Wisconsin accent “Oh, she can come in.” I untied Dolce and the lovefest between she and Jessica began. In our 30 minute exchange, Jessica clued me in on all of the things I might like to see or do and the places that I could take Dolce where she could run free. We even spoke of eagles and she shared with me a county road that had a high probability of nesting eagles that I could photograph. I learned that it didn’t matter what time of day I went to Zapata Falls because it was essentially in a cave and lighting would not matter. I learned that being an accomplished snowboarder, I probably wouldn’t enjoy sand boarding (as it is slow and you really can’t carve a turn – it’s point and shoot - straight down), I learned about Jessica’s dogs. I learned that I probably didn’t need to go into the park to get great sunset shots…might as well sit in my campsite and avoid the tourists. I learned a whole lot more about the region and about Jessica. I mentioned to her to stop at my site and say hi if she liked. When I went back in to say goodbye and thank you, she said “I was going to see if you wanted to have a drink last night if you had come in”. I told her I would have liked that and asked her why she didn’t stop by? She said “I’m shy.” We both laughed. I gave her my card, invited her to connect on facebook. We will likely never see each other again…and, I am impacted. Notwithstanding my desire at times to find a planet uninhabited by humans where only Dolce and I can go when we need a break, I love people. I love feeling connected in our humanness, in our desire to love and be loved, in our hurts and accomplishments, in our wants, and all that we do, think and feel in this often complicated human experience. My big takeaway is that we are not in this alone.

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28 Days of "What's Best?" ~ Day #2

4/20/2014

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Day #2: “What’s Best?” ~ I started the day at my home away from home gym. I noticed that it took less time to pull the trainer out of the RV storage compartment, set-up the bike, and begin my spin routine than it would have taken to drive to the health club…and the views...hmmm, I’m on to something here and I get a new view every few days!

If a day could be classified as a perfect day, then day #2 was it. Oh sure, I could wax sad about the people and things that could have made it “better” and then I would diminish the beauty that occurred in that moment, the one that I will never have again in exactly this way. Really people, ALL we have is THIS moment. We do not have the ones that have passed nor the ones that may come. If I could harness the energy expended upon past moments or future moments…oh the power and wealth I would amass…alas, that’s so not my interest! My interest is in encouraging you to make the most out of the very moment before you. Live it fully, regret nothing, forgive graciously and smile at strangers often.

Zapata Falls

Day #2: “What’s Best?” ~ Zapata Falls! Frozen. It’s a magic thing to me, that moving water can freeze. After Zapata Falls, we attempted the 2,300’ elevation gain hike to South Zapata Lake...a high alpine lake. We got stopped out when the snow became so prevalent, we couldn’t find the trail. Against my inner FMS (Fear of Missing Something), I opted to turn back as winds on the ridge were building, thunder clouds were looming in the distance, and I was downright unprepared in trail running shoes (completely saturated), capris hiking pants, and a sweatshirt. There was no gortex in my pack. I have learned this lesson about the swift weather changes in Colorado…more than once. Oh how persistent I can be in hopes of beauty. Nonetheless, it was a “best.”

Day #2: “What’s Best?” ~ A tired and content Dolce…this is not acceptable behavior at home so she relishes…I too, lulled by the silence, napped in the warmth of the sun on that leather couch. Regaining a modicum of consciousness, I enjoyed a meal that might cause my mom’s heart to melt. She used to feed me a very small pasta I affectionately know as “pastina”. The box I am holding says: Acini Pepe 44. She would dress it with ample amounts of butter and parmesan cheese. I was very little when she began serving me this dish…perhaps only weeks old as she refused to deal with a crying baby in the middle of the night so opted to feed me “real” food at a very early age. I survived and more than that have visceral experiences of certain things that are unlikely recalled intellectually. Pastina is one of those. Graham crackers mushed-up in milk is another. To this day, I mush a piece of cake with vanilla ice cream and recreate that familiar texture. If I can round up cake and ice cream in the next 26 days, I assure you, that will be “what’s best?”

Namasté

I honor the place in you in which spirit dwells ♥ I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and peace ♥ When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one

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28 days of "What's Best?"

4/19/2014

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Inspired by the theory; presented by Robert M. Pirsig in his contemporary classic book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"; that the common social question: "What's New?" "...if pursued exclusively, results only in an endless parade of trivia and fashion, the silt of tomorrow." The silt of tomorrow referring back to old channels of consciousness "that have become silted in with the debris of thoughts grown stale and platitudes too often repeated." He proposes that the question "What's Best?" loosens the silt, moves it downstream, and deepens the channels. It is this deepening of channels that inspires me to share my 28 days of "What's Best?"

Day #1; What's Best?: The shear reality that I am able to get into my RV and wander about for 28 days. It is contained in a state of wonder, curiosity, and adventure. Rather than blazing down I-25 to reach a destination, I meandered (as best one can in a 32’ RV towing a jeep, bikes and kayak). I’d say I don’t even meander; it’s more of a lumbering…slowly up and gently down, ascending and descending Colorado mountain passes reaching upwards of 10,000 vertical feet. The grave reduction of speed on these uphill journeys offering enough diversion of focus from the road to allow me to snap photos while I drive. It is duly noted that this brings little comfort to my infrequent passenger. Dolce, on the other hand, views my narrow focus (through my 18-200mm lens) as a distraction from broad awareness of what’s going on around me and sneaks close by, face up over the front dash - for the best view - leaning her head on the massive coach steering wheel. Do not be alarmed, I am keenly aware of the utterly unsafe driving condition which I am describing yet assure you; it’s not quite that dramatic. It parallels a young mother of the ‘70’s driving her car, lit cigarette with dangling ash in one hand, reaching into the backseat to smack her unruly child with the other, screaming at the top of her lungs “if you don’t leave your sister alone and stop crying I’m going to pull this car over and really make it hurt.” This was pre seat belts, and a true story…I was the unruly kid. The fruits of my endeavor (great road photos) far outweigh the probable lung cancer of the 70’s mom or poor kids who suffered the real deal second hand smoke with the car windows all the way up. The health fanatics, anti second hand smoke, and count to 1, 2, 3 instead of hitting your kids crowd of the 90’s being the 30 somethings that resulted from the smoked out backseat beatings. Can anyone relate?

The road

The silt being thick and necessitating major excavation, I won’t limit myself to one “best.” Best is a word suggestive of competition and limitation by hierarchy. I instead invite the notion that one best can stand beside another best in equal esteem.

Day #1: “What’s Best?” ~ Dolce and I visited Great Sand Dunes National Park (GSDNP) in Colorado. I am parked in an RV park just outside the entrance, am the only camper, Dolce is completely off-leash and content chasing tennis balls, and I am blessed with mountain views in every direction, quiet with the exception of the wind blustering against the side of the RV (let the record stand that I count that as quiet) and I have time…nothing but time. I have nothing I “have” to do today. Here are my 12 “best” shots from GSDNP.

I close this evening in excited anticipation for what best tomorrow will bring.

Namasté

I honor the place in you in which spirit dwells ♥ I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and peace ♥ When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one

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Jam from Berries; A Lesson on Creating Connection in the Moment

10/26/2013

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Make Me Sweet Again

Make me sweet again,
fragrant and fresh and wild,
and thankful for any small gesture.
~ Rumi

Have you ever been walking along in a hurry and a stranger wants to talk?  You have places you want and/or need to be and this is the last thing you feel you have time for…yet a small voice, an instinct says “pause, listen”. That happened to me today.  I have been in Vail, CO for the past week, staying at my partner’s townhome seeking a respite from the structure of my regular life. I was on the trail returning from a hike to a rock called: “Lion’s Head”. This rock truly looks (from over a thousand feet below) like a majestic lion king.

My golden retriever (Dolce) was rumbling down the hill when I spotted a woman bent over in the bushes clearly focused upon her task at hand.  As I called Dolce back, the woman peered up at me and said: “Oh, it’s ok, I’m just here picking berries.” Arriving within 10 feet of her, she began talking to me as if we had been friends for 30 years.
She shared that as a child she was told that thimbleberries were only found in Michigan, that she had fond memories of picking them and that her discovery of them in Colorado was purely by chance.  She declared the thimbleberry season to be uncharacteristically abundant and wondered aloud if I had been out picking. Well, of course I hadn’t because until this meeting, I wasn’t sure if they were poisonous or not.  She quickly clarified for me that no, they were not poisonous and in fact, they make the very best berry jam one could imagine.  Without pause, she gave me her tried and true recipe.
Two cups of thimbleberries boiled with two cups of sugar for two minutes. That’s it.
No gelatin, no fuss.  However, she warned, “you can’t get rid of the seeds” and “don’t wash them ‘cuz that takes away the natural pectin”. No worries, the seeds are very small adding a quite nice texture and a nutty flavor. She handed me a few berries,
encouraging: “here, try ‘em”. They are brilliant and I am pleased to note that I now have something I can survive off of should I find myself lost in the Colorado forest with no food (as I am classically out hiking with little provision and zero preparation for the
worst).

As I was leaning out of the conversation and intending to make my way down to the litany of important things I thought I had to do, she popped out of the bushes, looked me straight in the eyes and said: “I make great crabapple and jalapeño jam too.”  She gave me that recipe and her top secret trick to keep the flavor in the apples. She also informed me of the location of the two crab apple trees out back beyond the Costco. At this point, I made the pivotal decision. This woman had beauty to share. I could walk away, back to my car, my Iphone, my laptop and what I would be walking away from was an opportunity for genuine human connection – something each of craves in this day of infinite technological “connection”. I’d be walking away from loving another if only for a few brief, sweet moments. She was wise, experienced, and something told me there was something I was supposed to learn from her. I settled in a bit. She shared that she had lived in the region for over thirty years, that her brother and sister were both Olympic ski racers, that her brother once owned a well-known company that made ski poles and another company; a top-name bike label.  She randomly shared that she gives one case of thimbleberry jam to her brother, one case to her sister but only a half case to her son who by the way works for Prana clothing so she gets stupendous deals!

She asked how I got to Colorado and what I did here. I shared that I don’t work right now, that I left my home and small business in CA, moved into my RV and had been
traveling for the past year and a half.  She asked what I did. I told her I was an architect but that I was commencing on a new career here in Expansive Life Coaching and working on a book about Integrative Healing. She nodded, said “hmmm, an architect” and proudly declared that the history of her brother and sister could be found in the Colorado ski museum. She gave me their names…last name Ferrie. Then she said: “imagine how much teasing we took as kids.” They were always being called the gay family and kids said things like “here comes the little fairies.”   She said her friends sometimes complain about the gay rights campaign and reminisce that being gay wasn’t an issue “back then” and that people didn’t have a clue about gays. She says she tells them they don’t know what they’re talking about as she was teased relentlessly as a kid and that the other children were very aware that gay meant different, unaccepted. She shared that she’s glad there’s some reprieve now, that the government shouldn’t be regulating who sleeps with who and what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms. She said she’s glad to see that we (and I took this “we” to mean our entire culture of humans) can move on with this issue and let people be, let them love.

Without so much as a breath and still deftly picking berries, she next spoke of an article she read that somewhere in the Dakotas they were proposing a law making abortion illegal after 6 weeks into the pregnancy.  She said “six weeks, most women don’t even know they are pregnant in the first six weeks!” As she gracefully moved from bush to bush collecting the desired berries, her fingers and jeans stained crimson red, she blurted “they need to stop trying to regulate my body.” I loved this, coming as it was from a woman who was likely near one side or the other of 70.

As the rain gently began to drizzle, we said our goodbyes, she, so endearing, so filled with love saying “be safe Darling and don’t get too wet!” Although I said few words during this exchange, I felt understood and a deep sense of community; I was touched by this courageous being who shared herself with abandon with me…a total stranger.
“Am I?” I ask myself now, later, in reflection.  What I learned from her was sincere, non-defensive, personal, experiential sharing about subjects that have at times shattered our unity as a country, incited hate crimes, caused death and cost millions of dollars in political campaign funds can (and did in our case) create connection reminding us that we are all in it together. Our interaction was a lesson to me. I am encouraged to pause, to let life flow on it’s very own current and to be carried into the sweet moments where feeling connected to everything and everyone is possible; where we are thankful for any small gesture.

Can you find the time to pause today?

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Sunrise and Letting Go

9/18/2013

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Waking up at 4:45 in the morning has one redeeming factor…seeing the sun rise, particularly when doing so in the mountains of Vail, CO.

Vail, CO is a place that is new to me.  It’s sort of a perk that came along with the beautiful woman who circuitously found and wrote to me on match.com and with whom I now share a deeply loving and “expansive” (used lightly to include things good/bad/joy-filled/sad/spiritual/material) relationship.  She was a Jr. Olympian skier…Nordic or as I know it “cross-country”. Having shifted from that in adulthood, she now crushes the downhills and on a pristine fresh snow morning forgoes sleep, eating, and all things warm and delicious (are you with me) to shred the first turns on untracked powder.  Arriving in her life at the culmination of last winter’s ski-fest, I have only heard of this phenomenon and wait with anticipation for my personal experience of her passion (which I hope is a close second only to me). With the clear understanding that 3-4 days of our week will be spent in Vail, CO during the deep of winter, I am the
proud possessor of what is called an “Epic Pass”, I have 4 new jackets, two new pairs of gloves, am excited to wear a beanie out in public all winter long (not something favored as much in sunny San Diego or even Auburn, CA), and drove back to CA this summer to painstakingly pour through my storage facility seeking my snowboards and necessary appurtenances.  I have been shown videos of cross country/skate ski training, introduced to the local facilities via summer hikes, and am the recipient of regular emails advertising the sale of last year’s model Nordic ski gear.  Looks like Carin is about to take up another new sport!

Becoming acutely aware of the sad probability that many, most or perhaps all of my favorite mountain and road biking climbing routes are annihilated by the recent flooding in and around Boulder, CO; I feel growing affinity for my new endeavor. Most conversations with biking friends and enthusiasts culminate with “let’s hope it just starts snowing early”. It is a sad state of affairs in and around CO.  Lives have been lost, people remain unaccounted for, homes and businesses have been washed down mountains, cars are covered in water, mud and debris, homes are flooded, many have lost “everything”…that is everything material. All of this and yet, the sun rises, without any effort on the part of any human. We are incapable of altering the time, place or manner in which it does this arising. Let’s face it friends, there is so very much we simply are not in control of.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if you actually ceased trying to control things – or even one thing. My life became an experience that brings me heightened joy, greater connection, and a significantly elevated sensation of freedom when I did one thing: let go! I certainly didn’t and haven’t “let go” of everything. I would not call myself “enlightened” (I take some exceptions with that entire concept and ideology of late but that’s another rant). What I have accomplished is a hell of a lot more ease.

Assisting me in the process of letting go is a practice that I learned at a personal growth seminar (www.wings-seminars.com). This practice is about creating intention for my day. It starts with letting something go – and it only applies to today (unless I choose otherwise). It then follows with creating something that I want in lieu of what I am letting go of. It’s a lot about getting out of my own way. It’s about practice…I’m not going to use this concept like a new year resolution wherein we often make big promises only to suffer big disappointment in and with ourselves. I’m going to use it to guide and direct my experience today, to create awareness and focus. I will give you an example: I am letting go of worry about who will read my blog, if it will be a success, and whether it will receive “likes” and am creating authentic expression for myself today in the form of writing and posting my blog. In contemplating and writing this intention statement, I clarify what is in my way (worry…or fear), and I choose to create what I want (authentic expression in the form of writing my blog). It truly works…moments after writing that statement, I got inspired to drive to Vail Pass and take pictures of the sunrise. The result of that inspiration is joy ~ for me, for my dog who got to romp around a forest trail and for you or anyone who enjoys viewing these photos or becomes inspired by the ideas I’ve shared.

Wow, it’s only 8:30AM and I am one joyful woman! I’m off to enjoy a sunny MTB trail,
soaking it up until the snow comes and it’s time to embark on that new sport!
Wishing you an incredible day supported by letting go of control and creating
action through positive intention.

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The Everyday Value of Quiet Moments with Nature

6/6/2013

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(written May 10, 2013)
I am sitting in the RV watching and listening to a light yet persistent rain. I am currently in Mancos State Park, CO. This was not a planned stop per se. Until yesterday, I had been sharing my time and space in the RV with a friend who was visiting from Australia. Given that her visit was a vacation, a trip planned around experiencing and seeing things she would not otherwise in her daily routine, we had a stacked agenda.  Our days were planned around which sites we would take in, what scenic route we would travel, or what urban experience we wanted to absorb.  While there were many moments of silence between us, many spans of time apart and days wherein we went off and did our own thing; I am contemplating deeply today the impact of being alone, the quiet that occurs when we do not talk, the solitude that comes from not being engaged with other humans. I happened to park myself here, at Mancos, and have discovered a forested wilderness, a small lake, an extraordinarily dark night sky and complete quiet ~ all of which, I am enjoying without any other human interaction.  There is one other camper in the region. There are homes dotting the hills outside the park boundary and within sight of my evening walk and morning run – both of which were endowed with hail as I was quite possibly exactly halfway around the lake.   Anyone who knows me also knows that this is my bliss, my Zen, my way of reconnecting to my sense of spirituality. I am unusually comfortable alone. Writing that initiates much judgment of self, pondering of why that is, and questioning am I different? Questions and judgments that I have thankfully learned to acknowledge then set aside in exchange for self-acceptance and appreciation of who I am.

I am impelled to write now as I was sitting enjoying a cup of warm tea and the rain while looking at a pamphlet for Petroglyph National Monument in New Mexico. What inspired me was in the section titled “Human Connections”. The pamphlet reads “Local Native people have a long and enduring relationship with the land and its resources.”My instinctive response was “all people do, we cannot live without the land.” Then after some consideration, I realized that the sentence in the pamphlet taken literally, did not express what I believe the reality is. I believe the reality is that the nature of the relationship is what sets the Native Peoples perspective apart from other views of human relationship to land. The Native People value the land as a living breathing being worthy of reverence. They are cautious about what they take and are conscious about giving back to the land. The land is the great mother and keeper of all beings.
Think about it, without the earth, the land, the seas, the sun, the sky etc…we would not exist. Our very life is dependent upon “the land”.  We definitely are having a relationship! Albeit in many cultures today, it is an unhealthy one. This is what impelled me to write.

I don’t profess to be an environmentalist, an activist, a political letter writer or frankly even a news watcher.  What I do know is what I see and experience from being extraordinarily curious about people. Sadly, what I am seeing with respect to our relationship to the land concerns me. I offer that, like any relationship, the human to land relationship thrives best under loving conditions.  In order for us (humans and the earth) to live a long abundant life together, we must nurture one another with respect, kindness, and generosity, striving and supporting each other to live to our highest potential. These are certainly qualities I seek in human to human relationship. I have a simplified understanding of concepts such as reducing our carbon footprint, recycling, water conservation etc…all loving systems that will assist the earth to continue to thrive and sustain us for generations to come. Fundamental to any
undertaking is a purpose. So what is our purpose as a body of humans in caring graciously for this great earth? We sometimes think such questions are about the “big” picture and not relevant to our immediate experience, that “someone else” “out there” is taking that issue on. Often, we are apathetic, thinking “what difference does my contribution make?” I think your contribution is urgent. I invite you to ask yourself: What does the earth give me that I appreciate? I invite you to pay attention to what you are feeling when you see a resplendent sunset, a snow capped mountain, a rainbow of wildflowers in a field. I invite you to consider the enormity of the idea that this earth has sustained life since time began and it is still sustaining you, now.  Nobody in relationship likes to be taken for granted.  Becoming aware of the gifts we are receiving is a first step to taking loving action to sustain this extraordinary relationship we share with the earth. Believing in the impact of our thoughts and what is called our “energy”, I ask you to take pause today, to touch the grass with bare feet, to inhale the sweet scent of a flower, to close your eyes as you eat a piece of fruit and to recall that the earth generously gifted each of these to you. Then, feel gratitude for the earth, for all of her gifts, let your loving and appreciative energy flow out to the earth with grace.

Namasté

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Courage

4/29/2013

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“…Sometimes the only alternative to cringing before a parched collective is to commit an act drenched in courage.”  ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes from Women who Run with the Wolves

The French and Latin root of the word courage is heart (Coeur and Cor.)

Courage means to follow your heart.

In light of the tragic bombings at the Boston Marathon, I am calling out to all women – no, all parents, all people who impact children, all who are standing aghast at the recent events, to make a new choice as a parent, as the guiding force in our children’s lives.
I am asking all of us to be courageous.

The act drenched in courage I am imploring us to consider is to take the violent, life devaluing, gory video games and movies away from our children. Remove them from your home entirely. Studies repeatedly affirm that exposure to such violence in games and media causes children to act out in aggressive ways.  The research is voluminous, do a Google search “the impact of gory video games on kids”. Here’s one study.  http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/~caa/abstracts/2005-2009/05GA2.pdf. The events at Sandy Hook in Connecticut affirm the theory and support this call to courageous parenting.  It’s time we say a decisive “No!” to the parched collective, to the marketing of violence, and to fear and disaster.

I want you to consider that violent, desensitized people are not born that way. They are not born feral beasts killing for fear of starvation. We culturally provide the petri dish of tolerance to violence, tolerance of abandoning our children to the public school playground, to daycare, to “the system” in our aimless pursuit of “more”, a nicer home, car, vacation etc...These are all fine things, but at what cost?

Change doesn’t start “out there” somewhere; it starts within; first within oneself, within our relationships, our families, and our homes. We must be balanced, confident; trusting earnestly in what we know is right in our own intimate sphere before we can call out to “them” (our neighbors, our communities, our governments) to help us, to protect us. We must teach our children to be the kind of people we want them to be; not the kind of people who have the stuff we want to have.

Gun control, increased “security”, metal detectors in schools, taking our shoes off at airports, border patrol etc…are emotionally driven visible responses to our fear, our pain and sadness. Unfortunately, they are like a band-aid upon a festering wound. The
infection is deeper than what we see on the surface. I’m not arguing against gun control or background checks; I’m arguing that they don’t begin to stop the problem. They provide a fatuous sense of security. The problem is systemic, endemic, it’s cultural.
Let’s respond to the core issue instead of expecting external laws to protect us. Our highest form of protection is to nurture a culture of people who sustain a high regard for the life of every other being, every living thing, including the earth and all of its inhabitants.

Will you join me in committing an act drenched in courage today? Will you follow your heart? Will you teach your children something different?

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Observations on Chasing Mavericks

4/7/2013

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I am a voracious reader; don’t watch a lot of movies because I prefer the intellectual and creative process of visualizing what I read. I do love the artistic expression of cinematography and often find music that I appreciate from movie scores. Last night was an exception. I watched Chasing Mavericks. (watch the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh09vEGNrXc) I loved the movie soundtrack –it was compelling, creative and begged depth…could be due to the subject matter: learning to survive (in the pursuit of surfing it) the power and enormity of a record breaking, earth pounding wave and the possibility of being forcefully drug to the depth of the ocean. I’m a beginner surfer. Being a lifetime athlete who struggles little to become better than average at virtually every sport, I have found it humbling to say the least. Believing surfing to be a visceral experience, the base lessons about surfing presented in this film were eye opening. That’s not what I intended to blog about however. Concomitant to the plot of surfing this legendary wave, the movie inspired review of the depth of the human condition. This is what touched me. On a different day, state of being or life circumstances, the way it was presented may have just glanced the surface of my emotions and I would have walked away thinking “cool surfing movie.”

My observations…

Early in the movie we see the two main characters in their own life experiences. Their shared bond is that what hurts us in life often does so deeply and running from it does not lessen the pain. The pain comes out in other forms. It leaks out of our beingness and impacts every decision and behavior we choose. It can cause us to do things we don’t begin to understand why we are doing. This happened to me precipitating this travel journey in the RV. I really had no clue about the depth of why I was doing it. I had a sense deep inside that there was a form of running occurring. What I said to friends over and over was that I was unsure if I was running from or to something. The answer is both. The awareness that I was running and my willingness to pay attention as I went, has gifted me with growth. I discovered what I was running from, know what I am reaching for, and am healing the pain of the hurts that ignited both. Awareness is powerful. In the movie the teacher invites the student to begin facing his fears by acknowledging the root. He digs but doesn’t go very deep. I did that. It felt safe. I even did what the student does and screamed “I don’t know!” I ran confusion when I knew and believed that naming it could break me. In his deep commitment to his passion, he did the work. He named the fear. In giving it life, he ultimately gave himself freedom. The same thing happened for me. A deep wound that held my heart in a dark grip has been named. The grip has been detached. My heart opened and with that comes the possibility of it “breaking again”. I feel the sweetness and the common human bond this state illicits. I am excited because while, prior to it re-opening, breakage was impossible…so was fulfillment.

There was a scene during which the boy gets the girl in classic Hollywood style…I
don’t like that part, the over-romanticizing of relationship.  She essentially shares with him some negative observations of herself. He replies to her “not from where I sit.” She tells him that’s because he only sees the good in people. This is a huge lesson.  The way he behaves (as this person, who he intuitively knows loves him and who comes and goes and cannot due to her own fears, choose him in the way he wants) is inspiring. He is kind, he continues to love her, and he cares for himself by stepping away and focusing upon his own life, his own passionate pursuits. He trusts his inner
voice. Much of this is my personal interpretation of the presented story.  He continues, though not getting his desired result, to see the good in her. He also sees the good in himself by caring for himself. The balance of these renders him strong, integrous, caring, empathetic, and ultimately authentic. The lesson I see is that we can see only the good in others and still care for ourselves without compromising, becoming co-dependent, and without being hurt and taking things personally. It is critical to human relationship that we learn to trust that everyone is doing the very best they can, that everyone has the inner voice that they need to listen to in order to be the best possible being for the rest of the world, and that most of what others think, do, feel, and say has little to nothing to do with us…it’s about them and that’s the good news! While we may be attached to an outcome that includes another (as is the case when we hope for romantic relationship with someone), being in the moment and continuing to live aligned with our own personal choices, expression and state of being is what ultimately shines the greatest truth to any circumstance and affords everyone in it the opportunity to respond authentically.

My last takeaway was that we have inherent, unstoppable capacity when we are
passionate about something. In the movie, it was his passionate desire to surf that wave - translated into action by intention – that catapulted him in life. It evolved into his intention to love his mother, to heal the pain and limitation attached to his father’s departure, to love what was present and before him in the moment, to forgive, to appreciate and accept. He was an amazing example of someone discovering at a very young age, the power of intention. In the closing scene he gets beaten down by Mavericks.  This happens to us in life every day in small and big ways.  He was ready because he trained.  He practiced. He intended to succeed. He behaved in ways in life that supported his intention. He could have surfaced in a state of great fear.  Instead, he got back on his board and rode the wave. I don’t believe this was an example of stupidity or willfulness. He was equipped.  He accepted the possibility of being taken down by the wave, he trained for it with intention, and he was prepared to succeed given the chance. This young man did not try at life. He lived life.  He didn’t just think about what he wanted and hope he would get there. He passionately chose, aligned his life with his choice through action, he accepted the possible outcomes, he lived fully…albeit briefly.  He died at a very young age doing something he loved.  I honor him for that. He accomplished what many of us only wish for…to live passionately.

I believe that living authentically, passionately, and harmoniously with others is
the lesson that god, the creator, spirit etc… wants us to learn.  Each of us has a quiet voice inside that is the access portal to our passions, to our authenticity, to living fully and freely.  In my new endeavor as an author, life coach, pubic speaker and “free
spirit” as I travel in my RV, it is my intention to live passionately and to inspire, encourage and teach others to do the same. It is my intention to heal through the recognition of the divine within each of us.  I intend to share myself vulnerably and desire to know you in the process.

Namasté

I honor the place in you in which spirit dwells ♥ I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and peace ♥ When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one

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Dolce far niente 01

3/6/2013

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Hi friends, family and followers...my dog, Dolce; the golden retriever regularly the star of my photgraphy and life would like to begin sharing her stories about our travel. We hope you enjoy!

I’m Dolce ~ that means“sweet” in Italian. My mom says that to virtually every stranger when they ask my name. It’s not enough to be “Dolce”, no; I’m Dolce with an explanation!

One time, when we got stopped by the border patrol on Old Highway 80 in east San Diego County, the patrol officer saw the license plate on the RV (which is our home, we live and travel in it full-time now – and that’s another story I will tell you about later). The license plate says: DOLCES. The patrol officer asked mom “so, are you Dolce?” She chuckled and said “no, that’s her” as she reached down and pet me. When we are traveling, I like to lie just as close to mom as I can get and even sometimes prop my entire body against her lap and rest my head on the steering wheel. At times, mom’s cool with it and other times she gets a bit wound up at me and makes me go lay down. I wish I could figure out the criteria but until then, I’ll just keep trying…I am persistent that way. Mom calls me strong-willed…as if, she should talk.

So back to the border patrol guy. I think mom was nervous. The signs said they were
using working-dogs which means dogs trained to sniff out drugs. Wouldn’t that be a cool job?  Usually it’s those German dogs though so I doubt I would qualify. Besides, I believe everyone is kind and loving (made in God’s image, spiritual) and their purpose is to adore me so I don’t think I’m fit for the job…don’t have the inherent personality traits they are looking for. Oh yeah, I digress again.

So mom kind of stumbled all over herself with the border guy. I don’t know, maybe mom had some of that stinky green plant stuff in the RV or something. I’m 2 and ½ and I’ve never seen her use it although I heard her talk about it and know that she thinks it’s relatively harmless and has way more grief over how alcohol is prevalently abused in our culture.  She always says things like: “I wish they’d just legalize marijuana and tax it…would solve California’s economic issues” or I know she’s cool with people using it to relieve pain or symptoms from cancer or other illnesses. She thinks it’s far less toxic than synthetic pharmaceuticals. I know you’re wondering if I will ever finish telling you about the border thing. I can’t help myself, I love telling stories. They weave depth into our experiences and speak to the soul.

The border patrol guy asked mom a bunch of questions: where are you coming from? How long were you there? Where are you from? It went on forever. I could instinctively tell though, it’s not about the questions. Those border guys are highly trained at reading people, noticing every little nuance, checking out the car or RV in our case. And I suspect the 3 or 4 guys that always appear to be casually chatting on the other side of the car – they’re watching too, listening to their instincts. Mom says that’s where we hear the voice of God, our inner voice, our compass.  She believes that we find the truth there.

The last question he asked her was “What country is your passport issued from?” Like duh, I could answer that. We’re American so it’s USA. Mom didn’t say anything for a
long time. I thought we were going to the slammer for sure. Separated forever from mom and locked in a 3’x4’ crate. Never seeing the wilderness again. I was out of my head, I wanted to nip at mom’s heels and answer the question myself. I can talk, obviously, I am writing now. People couldn’t handle it though so I keep it real, using my dog language and impacting them in silent ways through loving them and always being joyous.  Finally, she shook off the deer in the headlights, squirrel in the middle of the road thing and said “Oh, USA” and followed that with “I got confused, I was nervous thinking you wanted my passport”. Good heavens mom, if the officer had nothing to suspect before, now he probably thought you were…what do they call it? “Stoned”. What does that really mean by the way?

Right now we are sitting outside in Mesa, AZ; we just got home from a hike in the Desert where I got to swim. Yeah, no joking, swimming in the desert…right??? Mom’s in a beach chair and I am sleeping on her feet. Did I say life is good? It is…sublime.

The border guy told us to have a good day and travel safely. I heard mom telling the story to a friend the other day and she said “I should have flirted with him, and said ‘sometimes’ when he asked me if I was Dolce”. Then she went on and on with her friend. Yeah mom, “sometimes” would have brought a bit of levity to it!

Let’s talk seriously about this border thing that humans have created. I don’t get it. From a dog’s perspective, I know where my home base is – it’s wherever the RV is parked.  I respect the other dog’s spaces.  Yeah, I come and go and wander, but like every dog, I want a good meal, fresh water, a comfy place to sleep – preferably curled up with mom, or maybe some other human friend of hers – kids are good, their faces always smell like lunch – another canine or if I am desperate I’ll even cozy up to a cat – used to have 6 of the feline types roaming around our property in CA.  I love a long hike, a romp on a beach, and always lots of love and attention. It’s just that simple. Sure, a dog will give a good warning bark or a snarl if they feel intimidated by me coming into their space. That’s cool; we all know to respect it. Usually though, that protective dog will quickly change its perspective and play with me. A few sniffs, a clear agreement and it’s on! We’re having a great time.  Mom moves me around so much; I have friends everywhere I go.  I miss my buddy Cody right now.  We stayed on his property for 2 weeks and we became soulmates…check this pic out, I know mushy but we love each other.

Mom says humans could learn a lot from us dogs. I agree.  Give up the borders, put down the guns, show up with a good attitude – a willingness to be a pack (mom calls it a tribe), wag your tail, have a little fun together, be yourself, fall in love easily, share your whole heart and say goodbye with grace.

One last thought: Smile! You never know who will benefit from it
or who will smile back…smiles are contagious by the way and they feel good on
your face.

Peace out,

Dolce far niente

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